Tired.

Sleeping seems not to be enough, I need vacation, a long one.
I long to the sun, adventures and laughter. I want to spend time with my friends and not to worry about school and other stress. I want to learn about people firsthand, not from the book in the libary, where my eyes only drift observing other people, and I cannot ask them what are they doing. I cannot just stay and stare at them. And it's not just because that would be rude but also that I need to get my eyes back to the book and understand what other people have found and think about the world.

I have come to the realization that the school might not be the best thing for me. I strongly agree with people who say that schooling system is not educating us but rather shoveling information down our throats. I should remember tens of quotes from four Finnish prose books, names of researchers, dates and word lists that I will never use in real life. And mostly I don't even have a choice of doing otherwise. Either school, it will be the same.

If you do not almost drown in the pool of information and somehow survive, you won't be able to get in university, not a good job and that means that you will be nothing. It doesn't matter that I have learned to deal with my stress, I know how to get on with almost everyone if I need to or that I'm so interested about things, but never really got to do/learn it my way.

It is funny because I (and everybody else) do this just to get to play in my own rules in the future. At least to some extent.